“By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.” Phyllis Diller

This is the moment I have been waiting for and counting down to for a long long time.  It is finally here!  Tomorrow this time, I will have my Oli in my arms.

As I count down the hours until I meet the littlest of the little, I can’t help but feel nervous.  It is a good kind of nervous.

If he can wait that long…

I really was meaning to do some more blogging this week and look, it is Thursday and I have only posted once.  So disappointing :(

It has been a hectic week I must admit.  It all started on Friday afternoon after I had my blood pressure tested and the nurse at the local chemist freaked out and sent me to hospital.  Of course that had everyone including myself in a bit of a panic.  All I had in sight was the expectation of my very long wait to finally be over and the hope to meet the littlest of them all!

The doctor (the doctor standing in for my doctor and the one who refused me natural birth right from the beginning) had other plans in mind:

  1. Torture me by simply keeping me overnight
  2. Sending me home with the bump in tact
  3. Giving me blood-pressure meds that seem to make me sleep all the time and bring out the worst in me emotionally  (I blame the meds)
On Tuesday I had my weekly appointment with my gynea and of course he was very pro c-section.  His reasoning makes sense and we wouldn’t want to place extra stress on Oli during natural birth.  Luckily for everyone around me and because of my night in hospital I had prepared myself for this.  Both K and I was ready for theatre and even suggested Tuesday evening as the perfect time for delivery.
Unfortunately the doc saw only our sense of humour in this and has booked my c-section date for 22 September.
This means that in 7 sleeps from now, I will meet the littlest one of them all!  That is if he can wait that long – with this one, there has only been twists, so I won’t be holding my breath!

the early (and welcome) start to my maternity leave

The doctor booked me off on Monday after our two weekly check up.  He thought it was crazy that I was still at work and if I admit it, I tend to agree with him.  However, there was method in my madness and the main reason why I wanted to take maternity later rather than earlier, apart from wanting to spend as much time with the baby, is because I wanted to share both our little boys first day of school with them in next year.  (sounds complicated and it probably going to be, even from a logistical point of few.  More on that some other day!)

My blood pressure has been slightly, although not dangerously high, most of the past couple of months.  Right about now – 36-37 weeks is however the time it is bound to creep up even higher and judging by the size of my feet, the doctor made a good call!

My oh so lazy days now involve, having my blood pressure taken, loitering around in the baby room and doing the last couple of things I would have crammed into 1 day, had I only started my maternity leave on the 15th of September.  My favourite thing about being at home right now, is fetching Logan from school and having special mommy-and-big-brother time.

Spot the difference – the past 30 odd hours:

Expectation:

  1. Meet with the gynae and check on my healthy little girl
  2. Attend the much anticipated 4D scan with my husband
  3. Collect Primary school enrolment forms for Logan and submit these (either same day or the next day)
  4. Long lovely brunch with my darling husband
  5. Drive to Northgate Post Office to collect Kalahari parcel that as sent to the sender’s address instead of the delivery address.  (story for another day)
  6. Have a bit of a rest
  7. Fetch Logan from school and take him to the nurse who will be administering his immunizations (we are playing a bit of a catch up game)
  8. Lazy evening at home

Actual rely of the day’s events:

  1. Met with the gynae and checked on my healthy little girl, again confirmed as 99% girl (that is a 9% increase from the last visit)
  2. Proceeded to radiology room to view my baby girl in the 4D scan.  Unfortunately she was not up for showing herself, so once I rolled from side to side multiple times, hoping to catch a glimpse of what she will look like and only seeing the following, we decided to come back after lunch and try again.
  3. Collected the enrolment forms from the primary school, only to notice that what was not specified on their website, is now mandatory to be an unabridged birth certificates, when I have an abridged birth certificate for Logan (“It is like 10 thousand spoons when all you need is a knife…”)
  4. I little lunch with my darling husband and an inability to sit still.  Followed by a caffeine and sugar overdose in order to wake and energize a little baba into showing her face.
  5. A little drive around Pretoria to run a couple of other errands that we could fit in available time before the afternoon 4D scan is due.
  6. No rest.  4D scan.  At first we baba still seems uncooperative and unwilling to show her face.  Up until she opens her legs to show the genital area.  Instead of seeing the female baby’s genitals we are presented with male genitals (from a couple of different angles)  Undeniably we are having a boy and once we acknowledge he as a him, he decides to show us his face.  (Typical Man!)
  7. Fetched Logan from school and told him his will have another brother sibling instead of a sister.  He wasn’t too phased and really only wanted to know the amount of sleeps he will need to wait until his brother comes.  Nurse made me pay for the vaccination (holy moly they are pricey) and I will claim back from the medical aid. 
  8. Spent the evening at home thinking of boy names/ boy nursery themes and a little cry over the girl we thought we were having.

His eye is on the sparrow…

Very early in my pregnancy I decided what colours I want to use for the baby’s nursery.  The theme took some time and developing, mainly because I wanted to use a theme suited for a girl or a boy, whichever we ended up having.  The colours are yellow, white and grey.  And depending on a boy or a girl we would incorporate highlight of either of the colour in the nursery.

Since we have been given a 90% chance of a girl, I feel developing a theme around a girl, should be fine.  And if it isn’t we will figure it out in a couple of weeks!

Ever since doing art at school, art needed to have a meaning to it.  It really has been a curse in some senses, because it means it takes me so much longer to develop at concept.  And if the symbolic meaning to whatever I am doing isn’t clearly thought out, I simply have no passion for the project and it becomes a complete flop.  Very often however, once I have  fitting concept, I can very easy build and grow onto this concept and it is then that the master piece truly begins!

Let’s take the nursery as an example:  The birdcage, although the bird in it’s essence represent a whole lot of things.  The birdcage translates from a wedding planned, a love share between two people and a passion for this growing person inside of me.

After the initial idea came to mind, I shared this with best friend.  Naturally she suggests that this theme could be translated to a boy as well as a girl.  And as true as it is, it is different.  A boy bird room is different from a girl bird room.  But it is possible and if need be, we will give the boy a bird-second-name like Robin or Finch!

On to new things, I found myself browsing the interweb in search of idea..  (truly making my husband crazy with all the things he either need to look at or comment on.  Poor man!)  This was when the above wording caught my attention.  I love the words and what it represents.  I love the fact that protecting this little one, isn’t up to me entirely and that I can never do enough to protect her.  I love that I have a Heavenly Father that has her best interest at heart, always:

His Eye Is on the Sparrow

Civilla D. Martin, 1905

  1. Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
  2. Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heav’n and home,
    When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He:
    His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
    His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

    • Refrain:
      I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,
      For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
  3. “Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
    And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
    Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
    His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
    His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
  4. Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
    When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
    I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
    His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
    His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
The words of the above song is based on the Scripture: Matthew 10:29-31.  These words are very comforting, now and thinking of all three my children’s future!
Wall vinyl Credit , Birdcage credit, song credit

Labour your way…

20 weeks

I haven’t said much in the last couple of weeks pertaining to our Gynecologist.  In fact the last time I mentioned him was roughly 10 weeks ago when I introduced the matter of him refusing me the option of natural birth.

At our 17/18 week check up, K mentioned the fact that I wasn’t happy with my limited options regarding our baby’s birth.  We hoped that he would come to some kind of agreement where he would allow me to try natural birth and or that he would refer us to an alternative doctor, who he would recommend.

Instead we got a temper tantrum that puts my 5 year old *during any stage of his childhood development up until now* to shame.  Frankly I cannot remember much of the 45 minute lecture, only that it went back and forth, weighing all kinds of different scenarios of what can/ may and will happen if we chose either option.

All it managed to do was piss me off and confuse the living sh*t out of Kobus.  Not very nice!

I can remember after all that how K and I needed to reassure each other, that we will do whatever is best for the baby, within my capabilities.  With the best medical guidance we can find.  With that we made an appointment at another gynae.

A couple of interesting facts about the new gynae, before I go on:

  1. My medical aid recommended him (bonus)
  2. K already knows him in his line of work, although he mainly deals with the gynae’s wife.
  3. My gynae and the new gynae are back up’s for each other when the other person is sick/ on leave.

We had the appointment with the new gynae on Tuesday.  In retrospect I think K and I, should have walked in there saying:  “We are not happy with our current doctor.  We are in the market for a new doctor.  And we hope the new doctor will be you.”  Instead we were trying to say that in a nice way, which confused him as to whether we wanted a second opinion or not.

The one thing that was lovely about him, was when we got past all the general and past medical questions, was that he was completely open to the probability of natural birth.  He said, we will have our big scan on 24 weeks and another on 28 weeks and there we will decide!  This was awesome!  We get to decide.  No lecture, no tantrum.  Just a plain and simple we will see…

After this we saw the little one in what I would call a way too short scan session.  We saw the little one.  Healthy, feisty and kicking.  We tried to see the genitals and the lack of wobbly bits makes the doctor think this is a girl.  He gave us a 90% chance of a girl.

I am sick of waiting.  I cannot wait any longer and so I will go out and buy as many pink outfits as I can. (and keep the tags and slips!)

****  Am I the only one who thinks 90% isn’t 100%?  Am I the only one freaking out at the thought of having to wait 4 more weeks to find out?  ***

P.S.  I have started a Baby Bump page..  follow the link to see more pictures :)

12 Weeks and 5 Days

The first appointment we had with the gynae was on the 7th of February.  The doctor was very thorough, pleasant and clear on the matter that he only performs caesarean sections.  He gave us his reasoning behind this, however it all comes down to predictability.  As the Beefmaster and I left his offices and went about our normal day-to-day lives, we came to the following conclusions:

  1. We really like this doctor.
  2. He is old enough to be my grandfather and that is okay.
  3. We can settle for a caesarean section.
  4. We really would prefer natural birth if at all possible.
  5. Our doctor is such a lovely old man
  6. It is understandable that he would like to keep things simple-er and more predictable, especially at his age.
  7. I really want to go the natural route and I cannot pretend I’m okay with a c-section when I am not.

This was pretty much my day-to-day thinking.  I read up on the matter, I asked my friend’s what their opinions were.  I had conflict in my inner soul.  The BM agreed with whatever I felt comfortable with, he allowed me to say my say and listened patiently as I voiced my concerns.  Finally we had a plan:   The plan was to attend our second appointment and during the consultation to ask our doctor to refer us to an alternative doctor who will allow nature to take it’s course.  I remember how I had rehearsed the conversation.  I remember feeling confident about our decision.  However, once we had looked at the baby, my heart started beating a little bit faster.  We were sitting in the Doctor’s consultation room and I remember looking up at the Beefmaster, hoping he would start the conversation, I dreaded to bring to light.    I remember the pregnant (excuse the pun) pause, as we were about to leave the consultation area.  The moment we had the chance to say our say.  And I remember how both of us looked at the each other, stood up and kept quiet.

The question I pose is this:

 How do you “fire”  the gynae you have come to like very dearly, only because you are not willing to have your pregnancy planned according to someone else’s schedule?