I have always thought of myself as a success driven career girl without the career girl wardrobe*.
The last company I worked for was a small company with very little growth opportunities. Month after month for over three years I complained that I felt limited, that I feel like I am missing out on a lot of things the big corporate world can offer me. With a twist (retrenchments) and a big compromise (driving to Joburg), I got what I wanted this year. I was beyond myself with excitement, thinking I would conquer the corporate world – Fully knowing that this is what I have wanted for the past 3 and a half years.
It didn’t take me very long to figure out that what I thought I wanted wasn’t what I really wanted. There isn’t ever really a day that go by where I don’t think of all the things I am missing out in my loved ones lives because I am sitting at work; sitting in traffic on my way to or from work. Because I am working late because there is work that needs to be done. Maybe being in a stable loving relationship has changed me a little bit, maybe I had forgotten how demanding the corporate world is.
Either way, I am glad I now have my priorities in line. Even if right now there is very little I can do to change my situation. Maybe in the future I will make better decisions! And that is how we learn.
* The wardrobe is really a bit formal for my liking, I prefer a more laid back look :)
It has been an uncomfortable couple of weeks. All I want is for things to settle in a normal pattern of certainty and yet it seems we have made a decision to play for time and hope for a better kind certainty!
I can honestly say that I have an amazing man on my side, a man that will stand next to my side through thick and thin. A man who stands behind my 100%. A man who rubs my back and tells me everything is going to be alright!
Althought some moments I find myself losing hope, most of the time I really believe him!
When settling down in a loving relationship one find yourself, should I say, I find myself getting use to the idea of being patient.
I’m not very patient by nature, if I decide I want something, I want it now! Kobus and I decided very quickly that we wanted to move in together and the only thing that really kept us from doing this, properly was the fact that he has a 12 month contract that when broken he would lose his deposit and he needed to give two months notice. All in all, it has been worth it for us to wait! The idea was that we would find a slightly bigger, three bedroom unit with an additional luxury here and there. This would mean that we both would save a bit on rent if we were to compare this to what we are paying at the moment.
Unfortunately, the Sperm-Donor and his non-payment of maintenance have given me a bit of a back-log on finances and as much as I know the bit extra that I will save in rent will make a difference – I honestly do not want to have to worry and the quicker I can get out of debt as a whole the better.
This lead us to the decision to stay a little longer in my townhouse in order for me to close some much-needed holes.
Not that it is my preference of course. It is the right thing to do!