"it's the final countdown…"

Since accepting alternative employment closer to home, I have been counting down days. 

My countdown started at 5 weeks – that was 23 work days.   The past 5 weeks have been long weeks, time dragged and I thought it would never come!  For the most part I held my breath and pushed forward.   

I can finally say, the time has come.  The waiting has paid off:   I have 3 commutes and two working days left in and to Johannesburg. 

Followed by eleven days at home and then I start my new job!  Excitement, a  hint of nerves and a lot of anticipation.  I should really change my mindset to, take it as it comes – there will probably be things that will frustrate you from day 1.  And you will probably expect them to be more prepared for your arrival.  But this is the real world and not the world were things happen as I want them to! 

That is all.  My countdown is finally *almost* over.  The end is in reach.  I can see light at the end of the tunnel. 

P.S.  And I have learned my lesson.  Commuting is no fun.  No matter how positive you are about it.  It is no fun and it is not for me!

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things are happening:

Things are happening slightly faster than anticipated.  I wouldn’t call it a bad thing, maybe just a quick change of season:

I have been offered a position in Midrand.  The implication is that we will need to take Logan out of his current school and place him in a school closer to Kobus’ work.  Our intention was to put him in the primary school close to Kobus in 2012.

Things are happening a year early.

It was our intention to move to Pretoria East towards the end of next year, maybe even buy a property instead of renting.  Yet over the weekend our landlady advised that she wants to sell the property. 

Things are happening slightly quicker than planned.

I have been retrenched.  It has made me feel like a failure.  It has made me feel exceptionally uncertain of the future.  It has made me doubt my abilities.  The implication is that I am learning to trust in the unseen.  I am learning the meaning of faith and the act of it.

Things are happening.  Even when we don’t see it!

Kobus also sees the winds of change.  For him it is an exciting time filled with opportunity and local treasures waiting to be explored.  It is a time to reap the rewards!

Things are happening, excitement fills the air!

All in all, things are happening.  It may call for some discomfort.  It may call for a little bit of faith.  I am happy to announce a new season.  One I am excited about it, as it lays undefined in front of me.

Patience and Bezert

We have been going to the gym for 5 weeks.  I will admit the following:

  • I am a hell of a lot stronger (physically) than I thought I am
  • I have become a hell of a lot stronger over the past 5 weeks
  • Cardio isn’t that bad.  Specially when you are becoming more fit by the day
  • I am impatient as hell

Yes I can feel that I am loosing a couple (two) centimeters.  And I do realize thatthings do not happen overnight, but come on I am an INSTANT Gratification kind of girl and this is taking way too long!

Luckily Kobus likes going to the gym.  Likes as in this is a hobby for him, he enjoys this like I enjoy reading a book or scrap-booking.  It’s a bit weird.  Unnatural if you ask me, but then  again I am not complaining, because hopefully in 5 months from now I will see a difference!

Now for the things I need to be implementing, since I have sort of gotten use to going to the gym:

  • Water… water, water, water, water,water.  Need to drink more water, lots more water.
  • Smaller portions.  I think I will need to borrow my colleague’s Weigh-less book and become familiar with better portion control.
  • Cutting out bezert (Logan translation for Dessert).

Who am I kidding?  I love bezert.  Maybe just a better kind of bezert?  Sharing my bezert, instead?  Eating bezert instead of food.

I am sure I will figure it out somewhere along the lines…

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So, have you weighed yourself?

My colleague asks me this at least twice a week and if she doesn’t asks, she says things like:  “If you weighed yourself…

The truth however is, we have been going to the gym for nearly 3 weeks now and if I had felt like I have been losing weight, I might have weighed myself.  But I don’t really feel like I have lost much and so I do not feel the need to weigh myself.  

Is this the case with anyone else?  Or is this just me?

I know we need to have goals.  I know looking down at the scale is a good way of  measuring one’s goals.  And secretly I have weighed myself, TWICE!  Once was about a month and a half ago and the other was in last week, at the gym, with all my clothes on and with my trainers on my feet.  Fact is, it is depressing.  There is no dramatic change of digits, there is now sense of accomplishment. 

And I doubt I will do it again anytime soon.

So, yes the fancy scale I bought two months ago.  The one that takes your age; gender and height into consideration.  That still needs to be programmed with my details.  Is. Gathering. Dust.  And this is fine with me!

I want results.  I want to feel it.  I want to see it.  I WANT results.  And that is why my new fat-burner, Kobus approved, and I will become bestest friends and hopefully by the end of August my pants will not be slightly looser.  But rather fall off my bum!!

Now that is what I mean when I say goals!!

Growing responsible…

When settling down in a loving relationship one find yourself, should I say, I find myself getting use to the idea of being patient. 

I’m not very patient by nature, if I decide I want something, I want it now!  Kobus and I decided very quickly that we wanted to move in together and the only thing that really kept us from doing this, properly was the fact that he has a 12 month contract that when broken he would lose his deposit and he needed to give two months notice.  All in all, it has been worth it for us to wait!  The idea was that we would find a slightly bigger, three bedroom unit with an additional luxury here and there.  This would mean that we both would save a bit on rent if we were to compare this to what we are paying at the moment. 

Unfortunately, the Sperm-Donor and his non-payment of maintenance have given me a bit of a back-log on finances and as much as I know the bit extra that I will save in rent will make a difference – I honestly do not want to have to worry and the quicker I can get out of debt as a whole the better.

This lead us to the decision to stay a little longer in my townhouse in order for me to close some much-needed holes.  

Not that it  is my preference of course.  It is the right thing to do!

Patience is not a strength

So my relationship is wonderful!  I’ve never felt as secure or more certain of anything in my life.  But other things are still dragging, I’m still holding on and waiting for a breakthrough! 

I went to the maintenance court in last week, I have been putting it off for quite a while!  When I say quite a while I really mean since middle January when I found out Logan’s dad is unemployed.  They said what I feared they would say, i.e.  he is unemployed how is he going to pay maintenance?  Thankfully I sort of stared at them with the same expression and replied – he is six months behind in maintenance, what do you want me to do.  So they made me fill out a document and gave me a court date – 29 April.    

My colleague mentioned in a post in last week, how we’d been paid nearly a week late.  We are waiting to hear if our salaries will be reviewed and if we can bargain on an increase of R 500.00!  In other words annual bonusses, just sound like a cruel joke!   

I am looking for a new job.  In last month I went for an interview.  Their words were “congratualations you got the job”.  Turns out I had the job if I was willing to settle for exactly the same amount of money.  I can’t settle for the same amount of money, I was willing to settle for a little bit more! 

I know things are a hell of a lot better than they were a year ago and a year ago was a hell of a lot better than the year before that.  But all I want  to do, is pay off my debt.  Enjoy my job.  Get to the end of the month with money in my pocket!  Some days it feels like I am being kept behind.  I don’t know why and I honestly believe in bigger pictures and things happening for a reason and in the right time.  At the moment I am just wondering when.  When is everything going to settle down? 

When will I see the light at the end of the tunnel?

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